
At the event, Alex Salmond and I were standing next to a buffet overflowing with Scottish produce, – venison, Baxters soup, Highland Toffee, shortbread, heroin and salmon. “I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t catch your name.” “Alex Salmond,” Alex Salmond said, but because we were standing near the salmon at the time, and because he had a Scottish accent, I assumed Alex Salmond had said: “I like salmon.” So I said: “Yes. I like salmon too, but what is your name?” Again, he said: “Alex Salmond.” And I said: “Yes. I like salmon too, as I said, I like all the Scottish foods. What did you say your name was?”